Archive | September, 2010

When Lila Met Stacey Chapter 9, “Too Good To Be True,” or, “Dawn on the Coast,”

28 Sep

A moment of self-criticism [Winston puts on his thinking hat and tries to look serious]: I did NOT like the previous chapter. The reason Margo is so awesome is because, as Ihatewheat of the Dairi Burger once said, she “gets shit done,” And the reason Elizabeth is so awful is because she broods, and thinks, and pities someone, and broods some more [refer to exhibit A: entire SVU series.] Last chapter, in retrospect, was something of a filler. Like “The Morning After” in the prom thriller miniseries, or one of the five books where Jessica is getting screwed over by a married couple with a rare blood disorder. Too much brooding, and not enough Getting. Shit. Done.

Now, I couldn’t have Margo just getting out there and murdering everyone, but I assure you that the Enid story arc over the ensuing three chapters can only end in bloodshed, and that while the Wakefields are falling to an all-time low, Margo is rising [and so are Stacey and Claudia].

When Lila Met Stacey Chapter 9, “Too Good To Be True,” or, “Dawn on the Coast,”

Hold on to your love, girl

Hold on tight.

I’m telling you

I never knew

What love was babe, and now there’s you.

Hold on to your love, girl

Hold on tonight.

I’m telling you until I held you close to me

I never knew what joy could be.

And now there’s you….

And now there’s you…. *

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Chapter 8 “Teacher Crush” or, “Karen’s Teacher” [Smelly old Mr Collins]

27 Sep

Moral of the Story: Having a crush on your teacher can lead to dire consequences – like getting squashed by a fridge

Twenty-six-year-old Elizabeth Wakefield dawdled into the Stoneybrook News headquarters on Monday morning and caught a look at herself in the tinted window. Her face was pale and drawn, and her coral cardigan was hanging off her emaciated body – a week with no appetite can do wonders for a size six, she thought grimly. Elizabeth touched a hand to her ragged blonde hair, which hadn’t seen a brush for days, and she knew her brows had more than a few stray hairs begging to be tweezed. The puffy red eyes framed by dark circles were the final tell-tale sign that Elizabeth Wakefield was nursing a broken heart.

“Hey stranger,” a warm, friendly voice called her attention. Behind her was an athletic-looking blonde man, carrying what appeared to be some high-tech photography gear.

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When Lila Met Stacey CHAPTER7 “Elizabeth’s Heartbreak”, or “Mary Anne Saves the Day”

24 Sep


Elizabeth’s Heartbreak, or Mary Anne Saves the Day

Is it bad when the sight of a fictional character being miserable brings you this much joy?

“Last point wins!” Margo Pike purred, smoothing out the pleated skirt of her white tennis dress. She was at Bruce Patman’s family estate, spending Saturday morning with the handsome heir. She’d known Bruce for just over a week, but already they were getting on like a house on fire. And fire was just the right word, she thought, remembering back to their intense make-out session the night before. Bruce sure knew how to show a girl a good time – even if she had to let him win at tennis.

Bruce served up an ace, and Margo smiled. The game was over – now she could go inside and do some serious investigating! Bruce wandered over to her side of the court, a cocky grin on his handsome face.

“Moet?” he offered gallantly. How far they’d advanced from the warm wine in a paper cup he’d offered her just the other night!

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When Lila Met Stacey, Chapter 6 “The New Jessica”, or, “Karen’s Tattletale”

20 Sep

You ask, Winston delivers:

[if you missed the first five, go here]

When Lila Met Stacey, Chapter 6

“The New Jessica,” or, “Karen’s Tattletale”

“Jess! Jess! Open up!” 26-year-old Jessica Wakefield rolled over and settled back into her peaceful dream. She was at the Ivy, with Travis, sipping a margarita and pretending not to notice the swarms of hot guys checking her out. She seductively swung her hips and turned to stand on the edge of the enormous pool, aware that everyone around was admiring her…

“Jessica!” Who the hell was calling her name? She stretched out her long, slender arms to begin her graceful dive and hit..the sewing machine?!

“Ow!” Jessica awoke with a start, and rubbed her throbbing elbow. She yawned, peeling open her bleary eyes, and realized that her bed had been replaced by a desk, and her plush purple comforter was nowhere in sight. The scrap of gold sequined lame stuck to her forehead confirmed it – Jessica Wakefield had actually slept at work.

Jessica groaned. Since she’d discovered on Friday that a wench called Cokie Mason had stolen her designs, Jessica had worked the entire weekend trying to revamp her collection. She remembered the way Cokie had sneered at her pieces – products of hours of labour – and the familiar anger rose in her chest like bile.

She looked around the room, which was strewn with pieces of brightly coloured fabric and flimsy threads, and the voice sounded at the door again: “Jess!?”

“Alright, alright!” Jessica yelled back.

“I’m turning into Elizabeth,” she muttered, stumbling over a pile of silver lycra on her way to the door. Lila would not be happy – this place was chaos.

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The one where Trusty Boyfriend Todd triumphs over Bruce Patman… Almost Married

15 Sep

Our book begins in typical Sweet Valley fashion, with a make-out session between Liz and Todd at Miller’s Point. Of course, Elizabeth’s mind is elsewhere, which  – strangely enough –  always seems to happen whenever TBT is attacking her neck. This time, she is thinking about Bruce Patman, who is blaming her mother for his parent’s recent marriage woes, accusing her of being the other woman. Alice Perfect Wakefield? Oh noes!

Sadly, when Liz did some searching recently to prove Patman wrong, she found a picture of Alice, in a wedding dress, with Hank Patman. Busted!

But back to TBT, who is nuzzling Elizabeth’s earlobe with vigor. He suggests that next time their parents are out of town, he shacks up at the Wakefield’s.

Todd is thinking with his genitals. I am surprised.

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When Lila Met Stacey CHAPTER 5 Mary Anne and the Trouble With Twins

13 Sep

CHAPTER 5 Mary Anne and the

Trouble With Twins

Get excited….everyone’s fave character is making an entrance!

Go to chapters 1 – 4

Logan Bruno had just switched off Mary Anne’s night light when he heard the soft crunching of tyres over the gravel driveway.

“Shit!” he yelped, jumping off the wooden bed. He fumbled around in the dark for his shirt, almost tripping over the frilly pink bedspread. Surely Richard and Sharon couldn’t be home already?!

“What’s up, babe?” drawled Mary Anne. She rolled over and pulled the sheet up to cover herself. Logan leaped over to the window, frantically zipping up his Wranglers, and a yellow taxi came into view.

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When Lila Met Stacey: Chapter 4 “Beware the Babysitter” or “Karen’s Goldfish”

8 Sep

Before you go any further, let me give a word of warning. The following chapter contains some very disturbing content, i.e. Margo at her vile, scheming, child-murdering, Wakefield-hating best. If you had a special place in your heart for Claire Pike, or an affiliation with Trusty Boyfriend Todd, I would advise you to stick to the earlier, more light-hearted installments of this crossover series here

I value your comments, [all positive so far!] so if you like what you read or have a suggestion for the direction you’d like this to take, please let Winston know!

CHAPTER 4: “Beware the Babysitter” or “Karen’s Goldfish”

“Whaddya think?” Margo held up a pair of black hoops against her ear. It was Thursday afternoon, and she and Karen were at Stoneybrook mall’s “Merry-Go-Round” enjoying a well-earned break from their work experience at Stoneybrook News.

“I prefer these,” Karen picked up a pair of gaudy pink chandelier earrings. Margo rolled her eyes. God, she was such a kid.

Margo sauntered over to the far wall, and stood with her back turned. What was she doing? wondered Karen. The young red-haired sales assistant was looking at them suspiciously.

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