Archive | May, 2011

The one where Enid “The Drip” Rollins reminds us why she got that nickname

29 May

SVH #20 “Crash Landing”

Cover courtesy of Shannon’s Sweet Valley

First of all, apologies for over a fortnight of non posts. In that time I’ve basically gone between my computer screen and Ward Three of my big regional hospital finishing off the final hurdle of my medical degree. Sounds dull, I know. So I thought my latest recap should reflect that – a book about the most droll, kiss-ass character in Sweet Valley history. Enid’s Story would’ve done me in, I’m sure of it [seriously, could they not have published a Margo’s Story? Or a Betsy Martin’s Story?] So instead I bring you the book where the Drip almost gets squished by a light-plane.

Let’s turn to the blurb for a moment, which begins with this ominous warning:

“Terror in the Skies!”

…. Really? I mean, I’m sure it was terrifying and all, but Dripface was in the air for a sum total of about ten minutes.  Reading that got me all excited that Margo was up there on a broomstick or something. Or that Enid was dead, which really got my hopes up.

Enid’s boyfriend, George Warren, is having it off with Robin Wilson behind her back. Robin is now thin, in case you were wondering.

Because he is a man of his word, George decides to take Enid flying in his light plane, before he breaks up with her. Way to go, George. But while Enid is getting all excited about being up in the clouds [I believe her green eyes actually shine at this point], George crashes the plane into Secca Lake and paralyses her.

Well, at least he tried, folks.

While Enid is recovering in hospital and not walking, George gets the guilts and avoids seeing Robin, even though they’re, like, totally in love, people!

But why would George be so noble? What, or rather who, made him relinquish his true love and spend his days making fucking chicken soup for Enid the Drip?

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The one where Margo buys blue-green contacts: Sweet Valley High #98 “The Wedding”

2 May

So I was browsing through my local Blockbuster Video store recently, when I came upon this cracker of a title: “Margot at the Wedding”. No shit.

I haven’t gotten around to borrowing it yet, partly because I’m too embarrassed to go back in there on account of the bizarre stares I copped when I cracked up laughing, right there in the Rom Com aisle.

Furthermore, I realise that no amount of Nicole Kidman and Jack Black brilliance could possibly live up to my vision of a movie by that name- I’m talking a Lila Fowler and Magic Jungle Prom Juice and Margo-posing-as-a-caterer-to-spy-on-Elizabeth saga.

It’s only fitting that today I recap one of the finest titles in Sweet Valley history – the story of George and Grace Fowler [and Margo]: Sweet Valley High #98 “The Wedding”.  Luckily for me, it’s among the 20 books that made the cut and scored a place in my new [smaller] house. However, I’ve had a ridiculous amount of difficulty getting the book back off my housemate. I was so sure that she only borrowed the book to humor me, but judging from the amount of difficulty I’ve had prising it off her, I’m pretty sure she’s been converted.

I now pronounce this the second best book in Sweet Valley history.

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