Beware of falling fridges….and other wisdoms I learned from YA fiction

I have a pink scarf but don’t keep it in my cupboard, just in case Margo hides in there when I’m asleep and plans how she could kill me with it

Every December I feel slightly deprived because the Wakefields got about 6 Christmases per year and I only got one

I never get in cars with boys called John

I have been known to start sentences with “but in Sweet Valley…”

I got asked in a first year tutorial how diabetic ketoacidosis presents, and I basically recited Stacey’s symptoms from “Stacey’s Emergency”. Surprisingly, it was correct.

Most Sundays until the age of thirteen were spent with my sisters playing Sweet Valley with our barbies. Fortunately, my parents managed to keep our favourites:

Photograph: [left – right] Margo, Jess, Liz, Todd and Steven. Yes, Steven is black

My boyfriend doesn’t know that my regular saying “have fun and be careful” was actually taken from Stacey McGill’s  mother [Stacey’s mom had it going on]

I’ve never been able to stand anyone by the name Susan/ Suzanne, mainly because Fran-Pasc had some kind of vendetta against a Suzanne and decided to give all the bitches in SV the same name:

–         Suzanne Hanlon [snob who dates Ken]

–         Susan Gibbons [lies about having a terminal illness to get money out of the Wakefields

–         Suzanne Devlin [too good to be true]

–         Susan Rainer [Jessica’s roomie in SVT super edition #9, “The Twins go to College”

I can’t go into white-goods stores alone in case there’s an earthquake and a fridge falls on me; also, I’m afraid of going to my school reunions and running into people who have died – like Olivia Davidson did in SVU#8 “Home for Christmas”

When I dress for dance classes I copy Jessica’s outfit from SVH#21 Runaway

I always flirt with the blonde barista at work whose badge says “Jeff” because there’s a slim chance it could actually be Jeffery French

I have never touched an illicit drug. Never. Partly because of Fran-Pasc’s cautionary tale Regina Morrow, but also because I might turn out as dull as Enid Rollins, god help me.

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3 Responses to “Beware of falling fridges….and other wisdoms I learned from YA fiction”

  1. Olivia September 12, 2010 at 1:50 pm #

    My favorite line would have to be- “I’m afraid of going to my school reunions and running into people who have died – like Olivia Davidson did in SVU#8 “Home for Christmas””

  2. shan h October 21, 2010 at 12:35 pm #

    Wasn’t the Wakefield house rebuilt either in the site of the original house or near it?(I forget)
    If one of my friends died under my fridge,I think I would have flashbacks about it. Perhaps even wonder if they would haunt my new kitchen or said refrigerator.

  3. Jenna March 30, 2011 at 4:19 am #

    “I have never touched an illicit drug. Never. Partly because of Fran-Pasc’s cautionary tale Regina Morrow, but also because I might turn out as dull as Enid Rollins, god help me. ”

    This made me piss myself laughing. Also the Olivia reference.

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